Red flags in a relationship are one of the most talked about topics. It was late in the year of 2017 when the term ‘red flag’ and ‘green flag’ started getting used in a relationship and now it is used by people to check traits associated with the respective flags.
Red flags indicate having toxic or unhealthy behaviour, while a green flag means that it is a positive behaviour or trait.
Why is it important to check for red flags at times? Here is a simple list of answers for you
- Peace of mind
- Avoiding toxicity in life
- Maintaining self-respect
- Creating boundaries and protecting yourself from any harm
The list goes on. However, these primary points should always be in the back of our mind whenever we try to find any red flags in a relationship.
Every relationship is different and that is the traits and behaviours differ. It is important to remember that what traits may be acceptable to one may not be acceptable to another and hence pointing out reg flags may be subjective. Nevertheless, here are the 7 red flags in a relationship.
Studies show that these are the most common behaviours shown by a toxic partner.
Also read: 5 Ways To Be In A Happy Relationship
Controlling Behaviour
This is one trait that comes out naturally early in the relationship and that is why this is easy to catch up on. However, often people miss this flag due to awful manipulation and gaslighting done by their partner. It is one of the primary red flags in a relationship.
Controlling the significant other shows how they want you to distance and isolate you from others. Controlling partners often don’t allow you to have friends or in some cases meet your own family members.
This will harm you because in a way you may end up having no social life and will leave you constantly doubting yourself.
Some examples of controlling behaviour are: telling you what to wear, making decisions about your life for you etc.
Abuse
Abuse can be physical and emotional. In a relationship, there might be a scope for mistakes that can be solved together but emotional or physical abuse is not for you to ignore.
When you go through emotional abuse, you will feel like your thoughts and feelings are invalidated on several occasions. You may end up feeling a mental choke because you cannot be yourself with your partner. This abuse will not let you speak for yourself.
Physical abuse on the other hand is when your partner hits you. The hitting comes secondary, the impulse and even the thought of hitting come first because this impulse or thought is something that may escalate over time to something big.
Abuse is nothing to underestimate. It is always better to get away from such relationships and surround yourself with people who truly care about you such as family and friends.
Not Being Honest
A relationship requires transparency and honesty. Without honesty, the relationship starts crumbling. Partners may start being unfaithful behind each other’s backs. This is a red flag in a relationship that needs attention.
To avoid it, talk more. Let your partner know what is going on with your life. Involve your partner in decisions and tell them what is in your mind as this makes them feel good. With high levels of honesty, a relationship runs long and without it, you will notice a lot of conflicts and arguments.
Communication
As we know that communication is the key to a relationship, we must ensure to communicate with our partner. However, oftentimes people want to avoid communicating due to several reasons which can cause the relationship to break in the long run.
No human will ever understand another completely unless they convey what they want or need. Lack of communication leads to a constant feeling of being distant.
Feeling distant and disconnected leads you to an unhealthy relationship. If both the individuals in a relationship are working, take some time out on the weekends to talk about things they want to. Communication is the first thing in any interaction that helps to convey what you feel!
Also read: WHY COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Ignoring Boundaries
In a relationship, even though two people are close, there should always be a sense of individuality. Everyone should respect that. Before getting in a relationship everyone has led a life by their will. During that personality growth and character growth take place, a sense of individuality grows and boundaries are made.
Boundaries help you know what your limits are with certain things, and what are your trigger points. If your partner keeps crossing your boundaries even when you ask them politely to not to do so, that is a big red flag.
Not Resolving Conflicts
During any conflicts, we tend to feel irritated and angry. What we fail to understand sometimes is that anger and conflicts are temporary. In order to resolve conflicts you need proper communication.
If your partner does not take the initiative or show interest in resolving conflicts, that is a problem. Resolving conflicts and accepting the faults takes goodwill. If they fail to do so, it leads to resentment and causes relationship problems.
Inequality
A relationship requires respect and equality for both partners. That means two different ideas, minds, bodies and emotions. Then both require the same amount of attention and care.
Having equality also means that there should not be any kind of power dynamic where one dominates the other.
In a relationship no one is superior, both are equals and if your partner tries to demean your worth in any way, it is a major red flag. It is important to know your self-worth because otherwise, it is easy to start doubting your worth.
It is important to look out for these red flags to save yourself from any further harm.There is a common saying that suggests it is better to be alone rather than being in the company of toxic people.
Conclusion
Relationships are delicate but with time and effort, it gets stronger. Red flags should not be ignored. It is because you can find out crucial things about the relationship early on and make the right decisions.
Some red flags in a relationship can always be forgiven too, not all of them but most of them. Accepting your faults during a conflict, always having a discussion instead of an argument or letting your partner speak what they feel will avoid those red flags.
Stay protected and maintain peace by remembering these points. Maintain dignity and self-respect and create boundaries. You should avoid being with people who demonstrate the red flags mentioned above for your own mental peace.
